Overcoming the fear of “What will others say?”

Traducerea în Română e disponibilă aici.

I have been on the journey of finding myself, my hobbies, my Thing that I truly want to dedicate my time to for almost 7 years now. In order to do that, I have thrown myself into opportunity after opportunity, course after course and book after book… Every time I started these activities, they were exciting at first, I was dedicated and fully invested into them. Yet, slowly the enthusiasm would fade away, sometimes in a few months, other times in a few years, because none of those activities were what I truly wanted to do, nor was it authentic to my true self. Yet, while doing all these activities and struggling to keep up with all “the things I said I was going to do”, what I constantly found myself doing, was journaling about them. There have always been hundreds of thoughts in my head about that or that experience, what I learned from it or how I was a failure at it, whom did I lift up or disappoint, how did I feel about it and what did I discover as a result of that so called “hobby”… Writing about it all came super easy, it never required an effort, on the contrary, it’s been the natural way of getting my mind organized, focused and decluttered from feelings and emotions.

For the most part of my teenage years, I felt that whatever I write about my experiences and my development will stay hidden in my laptop/notebooks until something majestic happens and all of the sudden I will have the chance to share my story with everybody else… Starting my own blog wasn’t supposed to happen now, this was supposed to happen when something bad occurs in my life and I suddenly stop caring about what others think about me, because that intense pain will be my excuse for being authentic to myself and writing about things that I actually burn for inside. Or, alternatively… It would happen one day, when I am old and rotten enough not to care, again, about what others think.

Life happens in between making plans.

— John Lennon

In the meanwhile I am living, I am making mistakes, like big mistakes, I take some risks, get into some experiences and I fail, and I cope with society/parents pressure and not much happens – LIFE simply happens in between making plans (John Lennon). So I kept saying that I will save all these ideas of mine for that special day, special event or book in order to share them, but the more I wait, the lonelier and emptier it gets and the further away that day seems to be. So now, I have decided to stop fighting these writing instincts that just comes so naturally to me and share stories instead. I can only gain and learn, the only way is up!

This is the beginning of a journey of sharing experiences and gratitude for all the wonderful (or not so wonderful) things that happen(ed) and for the awesome people whom I know, met or would very much like to have some meaningful conversations with. We are all unique and you never know who can benefit from someones’ experiences, insecurities, vulnerabilities and eventual solutions.

PS: I would like to write in whatever language feels most appropriate for the given situation, but I can already now say that it will mostly be English or my native Romanian, with casual slips of phrases in other languages, because I do believe that some things are best if kept authentic to the language in which they were first created!