My type of brother-sister relationship

Traducerea în Română e disponibilă aici.

My brother and I have a very strong bond and a healthy, mature relationship that I am very proud of. This relationship is not a given one, nor one we take for granted. Like all others, it requires constant reinforcement, constructive conflicts, calls late on a Sunday evenings, pouring your soul out on a random drive after picking each other up at the airport, lots of laughs, fun, playing our favorite games, trusting and genuinely having confidence in each other, sharing dreams, achievements, fears and failures etc. Among many reasons and situations that led to this relationship being so constructive today, one of them is the brother-sister relationship example that was set to us from early childhood by my mother and her brother. I am particularly keen on discussing this one today, since it’s a topic that has been on my mind for quite some time, and I am finally happy to let it all out on this page.

There are a few values that have been set right, in my opinion, by  my grandmother when raising her two teenage kids alone after the death of her husband in mid 80’s in a communist Moldova. First of all: hard and consistent work will always pay off (“smart work” could also be implemented, but back in communist times the concept of “smart work” wasn’t quite encouraged). Second: family comes first: Be close and united with each other, maintain your bond to your grave and beyond. It took a very brave, widow woman to set these values no matter what and, even more, it took two caring for each other siblings to nourish these values, and forever apply them as if they have grown into them.

My brother and I have seen family reunions at every birthday and holiday for the first 8 years of my life. We have seen our families working together on grandma’s lands many weekends back in our childhood and teenage years. We have been a part of that support given by my mom to her brother’s family when his wife had to leave the country for a better paid job abroad and leave my 10 and 8 year old cousins in the care of their father and grandparents. Later on, we have even experienced years of her brother working abroad as well, and as true as it is, those times when we received “the package from Italy” around Christmas times, with some Nutela and Panitone inside, were also great signs of how caring my mom’s brother is towards our family. But, I think that situation that got me thinking the most about their strong relationship, was the few years that my grandmother has struggled with cancer disease and the support her children have given to each other until their mom’s death. I strongly believe that we, as humans, are never ready to lose a parent, even though we know the end is near due to the situation getting worse. This always comes as a shock and a big surprise, because there’s always hope for one more day together. I remember those years very clearly, I remember the two sides of the coin to this story. My mom was living and working in Moldova, she didn’t have enough money to pay the treatments, the medicines, the healthy food, etc., but she was here, she could help, she could see her mom, talk to her, support her, take her to chemotherapy and to emergencies, she had the time to do that. Her brother, unfortunately, couldn’t be there physically, since him and his wife were living and working abroad, but that job gave him the financial capability to support those chemotherapies, hospital bills, pills, healthy food, etc. Both frustrating, both in pain, both feeling helpless to some extent, yet knowing that they can rely on each other to compensate for the things the other can’t provide. The funeral and the months/ years of grief that followed were the same. This is what I call a real value, a real life example of people that have built their lives in complete different ways, yet stayed true to their roots no matter what. Looks like the bonds built in tough times and unbreakable, unshakable, forever deep and authentic!

Due to this, there’s always this certainty that my Nanu Vitalie (mom’s brother) loves me so much, cares for me, will always be there for me and support me – it’s a belief that I am impregnated with, because I have seen his actions. I have seen them, brother and sister, acting in tough times and only in tough times you see people for who they really are! Thank you, mommy and Nanu Vitalie, for the awesome people you are as individuals, as well as the great siblings you are together. Your relationship example is one of the many great legacies you leave behind in this world. From my part, I can only say that I will make sure my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren know about this strong bond that siblings can have, which is one of the many pillars I am built upon. A genuine Mulțumesc!